Tuesday, June 30, 2009

On a positive note...

There was one thing that was awesome about Transformers, and that was the trailer for Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince. It's awesome, and it's here.

I think the key thing about this movie is that, now that the books have finished and J.K. Rowling doesn't have to be so damn secretive about everything, the films have a clear sense of direction. With the same director and writer signed for the next two as well as this one, I think we might finally have a sense of these movies being one continuous story, instead of seeming strange, slightly off adaptations of far superior books. I'm looking forward to this one.

Monday, June 29, 2009

Summer Movies, Part Six

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

Whenever I watch a Michael Bay movie, I go in with a certain set of expectations. After all, no one, including Bay himself, is pretending that we're dealing with high art, here. Quite the contrary. As a result, it's difficult for me to write this review, which is heading to very negative places very shortly, without feeling slightly morally compromised, for lack of a better word. How am I supposed to rip apart a movie that met my every expectation (even if that expectation was that this movie would be shit)?

There are poop, pee, fart and sex jokes. Megan Fox runs in slo-mo and screams "SAM!" a lot. A crotchety old Transformer talks like Vinnie Jones and uses a cane to walk. There are some gangsta robots. I could go on, but suffice it to say that all of the old Michael Bay tropes are present and accounted for.

The movie also suffers from all the same flaws as the first. Not only is there not nearly enough focus on the Transformers, but the ones we do see get no personalities. There is entirely too much time spent with human characters in this movie, to the point that the robots often seem an afterthought.

So, yeah. All of that makes this movie as dull and mediocre as the first, and as all of Bay's other movies. Fine. Normally, I would give it a C and move along. However...

TRANSFORMERS: REVENGE OF THE FALLEN IS THREE FUCKING HOURS LONG. I exaggerate only slightly (the movie clocks at 2 hours and forty-five minutes), and believe me when I say that it is at least an hour too long. This movie is actually painful to sit through. There is barely enough to hold my interest for ninety minutes. What this film asks for is entirely too much. I am comfortable in saying that Transformers is the worst movie I have seen, or will see, this summer, without exception. It's action sequences are too few and far between to redeem the remainder of the film, which is entirely cheap jokes and weak writing. At least Wolverine was decent enough to have a talented cast and a reasonable run time.

F

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Dorm Life (The Best Thing EVER)

Thanks to the wonderful people at Television Without Pity, the equally wonderful web series Dorm Life came to my attention today. You guys, this show is SO good! The episodes run from 5-11ish minutes a piece, and while it's slightly exaggerated, it's such a good portrayal of college life, it's creepy. If you're a fan of Greek (or, strangely, Friday Night Lights), you'll love this. It's funny and heartwarming/breaking all at the same time. Big thumbs up for this one.

More on Weeds

The past two episodes of Weeds seemed like they were from entirely different shows. "Machetes on Top" ended with Nancy actively attempting to kill her unborn baby in just about every way you can imagine, from eating fish to pointing a gun at her uterus. Then, to top it all off, her attempts to seduce Esteban, the man who wants her dead, end with him turning the tables on her and ACTUALLY RAPING HER.

On the other hand, this week's "Su-Su-Sucio" was very very funny. This is partially because of the wonderful Jennifer Jason Leigh. It is also because, although the threat of Esteban was still present, it was played for dark comedy (well, okay, until the very end). Recently this show has lost the funny, so hopefully this new episode is a sign of good things to come. The main point of this post being, if you've given up on Weeds (like I almost did), give it one last chance.

Friday, June 12, 2009

Summer Movies, Part Five

Terminator Salvation

I expected to be done professionally with this franchise following this latest installment, and so I was pleasantly surprised to find myself actually enjoying the movie. While it's certainly not groundbreaking by any means, McG has created with "Salvation" a functional, entertaining action flick worthy of the Terminator name, a movie at least as entertaining as the franchise's first two entries (and far more fun to watch than the dismal "Terminator 3").

The movie isn't without its flaws. While Anton Yelchin will forever be the most adorable thing in all of Hollywood, there are times when Kyle Reese needs to be, y'know, not this cute kid, and Yelchin sometimes is laughably out of place in the role (though more often than not he's actually quite endearing). Christian Bale seemed mostly bored by the film; Bruce Wayne this is not. Bryce Howard barely has anything to do. By far the star of the film is Sam Worthington as Marcus. Though I question the abilities of his dialect coach, since his accent is all over the place throughout the film, Worthington proves a charismatic male lead, and I hope he gets more roles in the future, because on the strength of this, he deserves them. And in a small role, Helena Bonham Carter is as wonderful as always.

All in all, a surprisingly good summer film, certainly better than Wolverine. The plot doesn't make too much sense, it's got more holes than Swiss cheese, but still, to turn off your brain and enjoy some decent action performances, this is one to see...if you've already seen Star Trek, anyway.

B-

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Fall TV Preview: Weeds

Breaking the rules a bit.

Weeds (Showtime)
Monday, 10PM

Technically "Weeds" is a summer show, but I like it, so we'll talk about it. It just premiered last night with a pretty lackluster episode that was mostly set up. Hopefully the rest of the season is a bit better, since there is at least a sixth season on the way as well. The biggest hurdle creator Jenji Kohan will need to overcome is the overwhelming dark nature of the show recently. White lady is having a time, and I don't know that Nancy can deal with much more grief in her life; currently elder son Silas hates her and is running away to Mexico, younger son Shane hates her and is off to live with his aunt (plus deals pot on the side), brother in law Andy is in love with her but hates her for being pregnant...and of course, the Tijuana mafia wants her dead. White lady is having a time, indeed.

Forecast: Clear skies, since the series order is already in, but this show needs to find a way to bring the funny again or else risk alienating a significant portion of its audience.

Summer Movies, Parts Two, Three and Four

Continuing right along...

At one point in "The Hangover," beleaguered groom-to-be Doug admonishes his future brother-in-law with the phrase, "Not funny". I couldn't agree more. "The Hangover," among many other things, is largely not funny. It's certainly a letdown from Todd Phillips, whose "Old School" follow-up really should have been better than this.

Zach Galifianakis is a lone highlight in this otherwise rote, by the numbers buddy comedy, so if nothing else, this movie should launch a promising career for him. The rest of the cast is underwhelming at best, and downright unlikable at worst. At the complete opposite end of the spectrum from Galifianakis is Bradley Cooper, whose character is so thoroughly despicable from beginning to end that I can't even be bothered to remember the name. There's nothing funny about him; he's just a dickhead, and he remains unchanged by any of the events of the film.

Good comedies should try to have a heart at the center too. "Old School" did this. Same for "Superbad," hell, even "Step Brothers" had some kind of emotion at its core. This film lacks any heart at all. The hugest insult, however, is in the ending credits, which are set to a montage of honest-to-goodness, laugh-out-loud pictures from the actual bachelor party, which owing to the film's plot none of the characters can remember. Each photo is funnier than the last, and I left the theater wondering why those hadn't formed the story of the movie. At least that film would have been funny.

Anyway, on to better things. First up is Up, Pixar's latest offering. Needless to say, the film is quality, but quite another thing entirely is how eerily close this film comes to the sublime. It's still too soon for me to tell for sure, but based solely on one viewing, as opposed to two or three of "WALL-E," I will venture that "Up" is Pixar's best film to date. From the opening montage detailing Carl's romance with his wife Ellie, who dies before the main plot begins, to the very end, where Carl fills the void left in Russell's life by the young boy's good-for-nothing dad, "Up" is sheer joy, tugging at your heartstrings and ultimately making you feel good about life, the human experience, and yourself. Twice in this film I found myself crying, once because the film was legitimately sad, and once because I was so overwhelmed with happiness (not to be confused with sentiment; the film is never cheesy). It is unbelievable how good this movie is, and the next film notwithstanding, I think I'll crown this one the best film of the summer. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if Pixar went for two in a row; like "WALL-E" last year, "Up" may very well be the best film of 2009.

Finally we come to the juggernaut. Yes, folks, Star Trek is every bit as good as you've heard. JJ Abrams and crew have distilled everything that has made the franchise work into the perfect starting point for a new series of movies. The film has heart, it's entertaining, the action is satisfying; simply put, "Star Trek" is textbook on how to make a summer blockbuster. Is it a great film, as those things go? Certainly not. It lacks the literary merit of even it's television sibling "LOST," but hell if it isn't an incredibly satisfying movie. No one understood better than Gene Roddenberry that more than anything else, these things are meant to be an escape from reality. It's good to see that JJ Abrams is carrying the torch so well.

The Hangover: D
Up: A+
Star Trek: A-