So I really wanted to like this movie and for a hot minute I thought I did, but really I only liked Gambit and Sabretooth and what little of Deadpool we got, and the rest of it? Really, really sucked. Like this shit is BAD. The plot makes zero sense and on top of that it fails to take advantage of the vast backstory that the comics have established for Wolverine. Characters are literally mutilated; don't get me started on Deadpool and what they did to him, or how Emma Frost is somehow Silverfox's sister, or how Silverfox isn't even Silverfox to begin with. Why is Mystique not in this movie? Could the Blob be shittier?
On the plus side, Taylor Kitsch is perfect as Gambit, and Liev Schreiber is equally excellent as Sabretooth. And Ryan Reynolds shines for five minutes as Wade Wilson, so hopefully that spin off will work. But they all amount to a very small amount of saving grace for a movie that needed so much more. This shit is shitty.
Bottom line: Don't see this movie.
D+
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Fall TV Preview: Explanations
I should probably go into more depth on how I'm doing the preview thing. Every day or so I'll about one or two shows that I feel like talking about (I'm not covering everything. There's too much shit on TV). And after like a blurb or something I'll have a forecast of how I think the show will do, which is as follows:
Clear Skies: no problems. Should be a great success.
Partly Cloudy: shouldn't be cancelled, but it's risky.
Cloudy: It'll make it to mid-season, at least.
Scattered Showers: Expect some time-slot changes, soon.
Thunderstorms: This is getting yanked fast.
Obviously, for shows that aren't out yet, that's very subjective based on if I think it's a good idea. And for returning shows, well, whether I hate it or not, we've already got a good idea how they're performing. So that's that, and stay tuned for more previews.
Clear Skies: no problems. Should be a great success.
Partly Cloudy: shouldn't be cancelled, but it's risky.
Cloudy: It'll make it to mid-season, at least.
Scattered Showers: Expect some time-slot changes, soon.
Thunderstorms: This is getting yanked fast.
Obviously, for shows that aren't out yet, that's very subjective based on if I think it's a good idea. And for returning shows, well, whether I hate it or not, we've already got a good idea how they're performing. So that's that, and stay tuned for more previews.
Fall TV Preview: Glee
Glee (FOX)
Wednesday, 9PM
So Glee is awesome, as I mentioned yesterday. It's from Ryan Murphy, who is the creator of both Popular and Nip/Tuck, which, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to see which direction this show leans. It's also got bits of High School Musical, except with actual talent, because apparently a number of the cast have done Broadway, but even without knowing that, these kids are freaking good at singing. Also, Jane Lynch is as always phenomenal. Sadly, she's leaving Party Down, but it's to do Glee, so OK, I'm fine with that.
I know what the initial reaction to this show tends to be, which is that my god, that looks awful. Because this show is full of singing, and optimism, and it's generally just a lot of fluff to make you feel good about yourself. But it is wonderful. The pilot aired on Tuesday this week, but the season itself isn't debuting until the fall, which is both an excellent marketing strategy and also practically asking for the plan to backfire. It's a real gamble, and hopefully it pays off, because FOX has no problem axing expensive shows with little to no warning.
In the meantime, you can watch the pilot on Hulu, you can download it (I believe for free) on iTunes, or you can otherwise acquire it, not that I condone that. (But this might help.) You can also download tracks from the pilot on iTunes (in this case, it's Glee club renditions of Rehab, which is kind of cool, and Don't Stop Believin', which is the best thing you will ever hear). So even if you don't like musicals so much, just watch this show in the fall. I guarantee you will find something to like, and hopefully the rest of America does, too.
Forecast: Clear Skies
Wednesday, 9PM
So Glee is awesome, as I mentioned yesterday. It's from Ryan Murphy, who is the creator of both Popular and Nip/Tuck, which, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to see which direction this show leans. It's also got bits of High School Musical, except with actual talent, because apparently a number of the cast have done Broadway, but even without knowing that, these kids are freaking good at singing. Also, Jane Lynch is as always phenomenal. Sadly, she's leaving Party Down, but it's to do Glee, so OK, I'm fine with that.
I know what the initial reaction to this show tends to be, which is that my god, that looks awful. Because this show is full of singing, and optimism, and it's generally just a lot of fluff to make you feel good about yourself. But it is wonderful. The pilot aired on Tuesday this week, but the season itself isn't debuting until the fall, which is both an excellent marketing strategy and also practically asking for the plan to backfire. It's a real gamble, and hopefully it pays off, because FOX has no problem axing expensive shows with little to no warning.
In the meantime, you can watch the pilot on Hulu, you can download it (I believe for free) on iTunes, or you can otherwise acquire it, not that I condone that. (But this might help.) You can also download tracks from the pilot on iTunes (in this case, it's Glee club renditions of Rehab, which is kind of cool, and Don't Stop Believin', which is the best thing you will ever hear). So even if you don't like musicals so much, just watch this show in the fall. I guarantee you will find something to like, and hopefully the rest of America does, too.
Forecast: Clear Skies
American Idol, AKA WTF, AKA Just Kidding, Of Course
I don't watch American Idol. In point of fact, I kind of hate it, only because it is so shallow and vapid and it's basically a competition where you are deciding which shelf-ready, mass-market product is better than any other product of the same variety. The show is so much more a marketing competition than any kind of talent show, it's really gross. So it was semi-refreshing, at least to me, to one see ridiculously homo Adam Lambert make it so far in this competition and actually pretty much be the favorite to win, and also to see him interviewed about making out with dudes in some pictures and being like, "yeah, I did that," mainly because we've come so far from ridiculously homo Clay Aiken simply insisting that he, in fact, liked vagina (obviously, he doesn't, but it shouldn't have taken 6 years for him to admit that).
The nice thing about Adam (and ultimately, the reason he lost, not that winning this thing matters) is that he didn't make a big deal about being gay (or whatever he is). He didn't outright say, yea, you got me, I'm gay. He basically said fuck off, it's irrelevant. Which is perfect, in so many ways, because it's absolutely right, but also, not outright denying your sexuality, while pictures of you making out with dudes are freely available and you also show up on stage every week not really making it all that ambiguous that you are at least a little gay, well, that pretty much translates to you being the gayest gay who ever gayed on American Idol, Ryan Seacrest notwithstanding. And when you are up against Kris Allen, who is simply everything America has ever loved, and is also hot and likes girls, well, that means you lose.
I would love to think that with like 5 out of 50 states (which I think is 10 percent but I've never been good at math) allowing gay marriage now, and one even through vote instead of legislation (which, also, yay progress, but that is a fucking sad statistic), with all of that I would love to think that America has changed and accepts the gays and whatever, and in a lot of ways I think it actually has. But American Idol is not and has never been a reflection of American society, at least not today's society. American Idol is not about packaging this edgy gay rocker who dresses like girls and will kiss your teenage son while he's experimenting at UCLA (which is the secret fear of all the stupid middle-aged moms who were also shrieking "ADAM YOU"RE SO HOT OMG!" at the top of their lungs every Tuesday and Wednesday night). American Idol is about taking short, adorable little Kris and putting him on the same, safe level as like, Celine Dion. In fact, that whole last episode was like a metaphorical showdown between Cyndi Lauper and Celine Dion, respectively. Both of those women sing complete rubbish pop, but Cyndi Lauper does it while dressed as a fag hag and being completely wonderful and crass, and everything else, and Celine Dion does it in Las Vegas where the same people that watch CBS can enjoy her while remaining strictly under the two drink minimum.
So it's not so much that I'm saying Kris winning was a conspiracy against the gays (quite the opposite, as Kris is some eye candy and now he'll be pseudo famous and even bisexual me has no problem with seeing his face a couple of places), because it wasn't, so much as it was Adam was never going to win this show, because he's just not what this show is about, and everyone knows it. He knew it. And again, winning is just plain not the point; the point is Adam has been the talk of the country for like half a year, and he's also on the inside cover of The Advocate, and no one gives a shit (in the good way).
The nice thing about Adam (and ultimately, the reason he lost, not that winning this thing matters) is that he didn't make a big deal about being gay (or whatever he is). He didn't outright say, yea, you got me, I'm gay. He basically said fuck off, it's irrelevant. Which is perfect, in so many ways, because it's absolutely right, but also, not outright denying your sexuality, while pictures of you making out with dudes are freely available and you also show up on stage every week not really making it all that ambiguous that you are at least a little gay, well, that pretty much translates to you being the gayest gay who ever gayed on American Idol, Ryan Seacrest notwithstanding. And when you are up against Kris Allen, who is simply everything America has ever loved, and is also hot and likes girls, well, that means you lose.
I would love to think that with like 5 out of 50 states (which I think is 10 percent but I've never been good at math) allowing gay marriage now, and one even through vote instead of legislation (which, also, yay progress, but that is a fucking sad statistic), with all of that I would love to think that America has changed and accepts the gays and whatever, and in a lot of ways I think it actually has. But American Idol is not and has never been a reflection of American society, at least not today's society. American Idol is not about packaging this edgy gay rocker who dresses like girls and will kiss your teenage son while he's experimenting at UCLA (which is the secret fear of all the stupid middle-aged moms who were also shrieking "ADAM YOU"RE SO HOT OMG!" at the top of their lungs every Tuesday and Wednesday night). American Idol is about taking short, adorable little Kris and putting him on the same, safe level as like, Celine Dion. In fact, that whole last episode was like a metaphorical showdown between Cyndi Lauper and Celine Dion, respectively. Both of those women sing complete rubbish pop, but Cyndi Lauper does it while dressed as a fag hag and being completely wonderful and crass, and everything else, and Celine Dion does it in Las Vegas where the same people that watch CBS can enjoy her while remaining strictly under the two drink minimum.
So it's not so much that I'm saying Kris winning was a conspiracy against the gays (quite the opposite, as Kris is some eye candy and now he'll be pseudo famous and even bisexual me has no problem with seeing his face a couple of places), because it wasn't, so much as it was Adam was never going to win this show, because he's just not what this show is about, and everyone knows it. He knew it. And again, winning is just plain not the point; the point is Adam has been the talk of the country for like half a year, and he's also on the inside cover of The Advocate, and no one gives a shit (in the good way).
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Time Flies
Wow, been away more than a month. I doubt anyone's missed it.
At any rate, I do want to keep writing at least somewhat periodically this summer, so expect semi-frequent updates. First priority is a Fall TV Preview (yes, I know it's just May, but the networks have all announced their fall line ups, so this is the time to do that sort of thing). And I'll probably lump some summer series in there too, just because I like several of those.
First show, because it's fresh on my mind and I also LOVE it, will be Glee (FOX), which I'll talk about tomorrow slash later tonight. Working at a movie theatre, I'm sure I'll also be talking about the summer movie fare; first movie up is X-Men: Origins - Wolverine (20th Century Fox) (and my god, what a title), which will also be discussed at some future time that isn't now.
We're also a bit behind on LOST, but in my defense, it's not like a whole hell of a lot actually HAPPENED on that show this season, if it was still quite good. Season 5 was largely set up for season six (though, typical of Lost, I have no fucking clue what the next season will be like, at all). So I'll wrap up Season 5 in a future post, too.
I also feel like I should talk about things that aren't TV and/or movies, and so whenever I do get around to finishing it, I'll talk a bit about Roberto Bolaño's novel 2666, which I'm about 10 pages into (out of damn near 900). That may be the only book we get to this summer.
I feel like that's quite enough to be getting on with now (while simultaneously saying absolutely nothing), so I'll end the post there. Hopefully this will pick up some readers at some point, too.
At any rate, I do want to keep writing at least somewhat periodically this summer, so expect semi-frequent updates. First priority is a Fall TV Preview (yes, I know it's just May, but the networks have all announced their fall line ups, so this is the time to do that sort of thing). And I'll probably lump some summer series in there too, just because I like several of those.
First show, because it's fresh on my mind and I also LOVE it, will be Glee (FOX), which I'll talk about tomorrow slash later tonight. Working at a movie theatre, I'm sure I'll also be talking about the summer movie fare; first movie up is X-Men: Origins - Wolverine (20th Century Fox) (and my god, what a title), which will also be discussed at some future time that isn't now.
We're also a bit behind on LOST, but in my defense, it's not like a whole hell of a lot actually HAPPENED on that show this season, if it was still quite good. Season 5 was largely set up for season six (though, typical of Lost, I have no fucking clue what the next season will be like, at all). So I'll wrap up Season 5 in a future post, too.
I also feel like I should talk about things that aren't TV and/or movies, and so whenever I do get around to finishing it, I'll talk a bit about Roberto Bolaño's novel 2666, which I'm about 10 pages into (out of damn near 900). That may be the only book we get to this summer.
I feel like that's quite enough to be getting on with now (while simultaneously saying absolutely nothing), so I'll end the post there. Hopefully this will pick up some readers at some point, too.
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